i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
