his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
