Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
