even my farts smell like vagina
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
