; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize