thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
