suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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