I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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