Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
