I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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