Actions speak louder than pants.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I have already put on my inside pants.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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