So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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