that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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