The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
