Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
