well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
