when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm too high and old for this...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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