watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I supernannyed him into submission
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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