all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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