Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
