So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
