she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
