How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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