She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
