So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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