God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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