I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize