I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize