grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize