If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
3pm strippers are depressing
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
