Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
