those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
