peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
