I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm at about main and main street
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
