yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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