you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
