I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Your penis caused this!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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