I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
so much tequila, so little girl.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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