Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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