he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
