Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
