He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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