Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
