Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
is that a dick in a sweater?
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