I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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