I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
