Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
