Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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