she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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