He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
