I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize