I hate all girls vehemently.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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