I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
