11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Why are your pants in the freezer?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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