so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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