God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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