Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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